Best of the Blog: Moms I’d Like to Punch

It used to be that everyone who read my blog knew me in real life. I’m glad to say that’s not true anymore (hello, new readers!). So that we can get to know each other better, I’ve decided to feature a few of the most discussed posts from my old blog. Only the best for you. This was originally posted on 9.8.10.

 

So, apparently Demi Moore tweeted this photo of herself in a bikini.Here’s the thing: we get it, Demi. We get it. You’re sexy. Yes, Cougar Mama, you still got it. Now, can you leave us alone and let us to go back to ignoring you? For me there’s something sort of pathetic and cringe-y about a 47 year old actress basically self-publishing her own pin up. I just don’t get why being sexy is still THE most important thing, your most valuable commodity, when you’ve grown older and presumably developed other aspects of who you are. I am all for the ladies keepin’ it fresh, but the ones who interest me, the ones I see as genuinely sexy are women like Helen Mirren, Susan Sarandon, Meryl Streep, Juliann Moore etc. These women are intriguing because their “sexiness” is more of an afterthought, just a complement to their talent. Sadly, I imagine Demi thinks that being sexy is going to make Hollywood care about her again. She doesn’t seem to realize that having nothing but flat abs and big boobs really only matters when you’re young. Hollywood is not interested in older women who can’t act. That’s a young woman’s game.

And speaking of young women, how do Demi’s daughters feel about this twitpic? (I love that word.) My teenage daughter wants to crawl under a rock when I do anything she perceives as “trying to act young.” I don’t believe that mothers have to conduct themselves at all times as if their daughters are watching. But in public? Yeah, they’re watching. And probably wondering a) when do we get our chance to be the hawt chick in the family and b) mom, why don’t you go do something else for awhile.

Oh, and before y’all start hatin’ (“U r jus a jellos fat cow!!1”) of course I would love to have DM’s body. I’m a few years younger than she is and have only 2 kids (she has 3) and have never looked that good in my life.

Now, onto the reason for the plural in the headline. The best part of this whole story is that Lisa Rinna, even more of a no-talent than Demi, tweeted an “homage” to her “idol.” Yes, an homage to  Demi Moore. Sure, Lisa, that’s what it is: an homage. Not buyin’ what yer sellin’, girlfriend, because I see you throwing out your hand, snapping in a z-formation and saying, “Oh yeah? I look just as good as she does. I’ll show her!”

Ladies, grow up.

 

4 thoughts on “Best of the Blog: Moms I’d Like to Punch

  1. Leigh Douglas-Glancy says:

    I can’t believe that was first posted 2 years ago. Loved it just as much this time around.. And the “Jesus, take the wheel” reference.. You’re killing me. Today has to be a better day, right?

    • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

      Counting on it!

      Glad you enjoyed reading it. I also can’t believe it was 2 years ago! Sad that in the meantime Asston (not a typo) cheated on her…

  2. Julia's Math says:

    What’s the deal with the sunglasses inside? You’re not fooling anyone into thinking you are at the beach! And Lisa. Lisa. Just stop.

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