Real Housewives of Atlanta: This Week’s 5 Unanswered Questions

Whoa!

I learned a lot from last night’s episode of RHOA. For example, there are people who have their OB/GYN’s direct number programmed into their phone, and they are able to use it to call said doctor, who will pick up on the first ring to confirm that hot tubs are not a good fit with vaginas. Also? Kenya is not just a little wacky. She is BANANAZ.

So even though some things were cleared up, like always, I’m still scratching my head over a few others. This week’s questions. . .

1. Okay, I have said this before, but when is Phaedra getting her own show?!

Wow. Everybody knows how much I love PP, but last night was one of her best ever episodes. Her reason for not entering the hot tub? “There’s nothing wrong with that water. It’s the penises and vaginas that have been IN that water.” That is GOLD. Her disapproval over Kenya “rubbing her funky booty on [Peter’s] genitalia”? She is way, way too much woman for an ensemble show. I’ll expect a call back from Andy Cohen any minute.

On a side note, I really felt badly for Phaedra when that foolishness between Kenya and Apollo went down. I think we’ve all been in situations like that, where some crazy person with boundary issues starts causing trouble. I’m sure Phaedra will handle it next week but I did feel her pain.

#notcool

Moving on. . .

2. Speaking of Kenya, why is she not in residential treatment?

A couple of episodes ago, she was explaining to someone about how her mother had undiagnosed mental illnesses. Kenya, have you ever heard of something called a “red flag”? Nuttiness is probably the greatest quality reality TV characters can have (see above), but straight up craziness? That’s not fun to watch. You guys, she is terrifying! When she faced the flip cam, mouthing that she hopes Walter is planning to propose on the trip? That will haunt me in the wee hours.

Oh, and since I live in Atlanta, I know tidbits here and there about what these chicks have been up to since filming. Let’s just say I’m pretty sure Walter didn’t propose on that trip. On any trip.

3. Is Kim really gone? Like, gone gone?

I hope so. I really can’t stand that heifer. Any charm she ever had – and there wasn’t much – has burned off like fog. I will never understand what Kroy sees in her. He seems like a nice guy and she. . .well. You know.

Fun fact: the spot where they all met to talk about the Anguilla trip is called Fritti. When I lived in that neighborhood, my dog got hit by a car right in front of that place. I can’t pass by without thinking of that. He went on to live many more years, so don’t stop reading because this turned into a sad, dead dog story. It didn’t.

4. Does anyone else think Peter is handsome?

What a nice looking mug shot, Peter.

Anybody? *sheepishly* I know he’s not exactly a great guy – or even a good guy – but that dude is very attractive, you’ve gotta admit. (Ok, you don’t really have to.)

5. Have you ever seen anyone gulp down a cocktail faster than that poor Filipino dude?

Do you know who I’m talking about? I don’t even remember where he came from or why he was there, but somehow we learned about this man’s ethnic background and how he was unusually tall for a Filipino. Remember? Right before Kenya asked him IN FRONT OF HER BOYFRIEND if he had ever donated to a sperm bank? What the? Seriously. Kenya has the type of uncomfortable crazy that can not be contained. I felt so bad for that guy watching him nervously blow through that drink: sip, sip, sip, GULP.

I’ll have MY cocktail poured and ready next week when Ms. Phaedra gives Kenya an etiquette lesson.

BONUS! A classic RHOA moment, now in gif form! 

Kenya illustration: http://prettyontheoutside.typepad.com/gilmore/
Apollo photo: Bravotv.com
Porsha gif: realitytvgifs.tumblr.com
Peter’s mugshot: starcasm.net

Talk to me.

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