5 Unanswered Questions: All Kenya Edition

I don’t know about you but I thought Sunday’s Real Housewives of Atlanta was filmed live on location in SNOOZEVILLE. So boring!

Except for the antics of Miss USA 1947, Kenya Moore.

Let’s get started on the questions I need answered, shall we?

1. Has Walter hired extra security yet?

In Atlanta, everybody knows (as Phaedra would say) that Walter gave an interview on The Frank and Wanda Show and he totally blew up Kenya’s spot. He told Frank Ski and Wanda Smith that he dated Krazy Kenya for a couple of months – over three years ago! When Kenya was approached to do the show, she called Walter “out of the blue” to offer him a position as her fake boyfriend. She said the money was easy and his towing business would get good exposure. (Um . . . ok.) Walter’s friends advised him to do it for fun, but shit got real when Kenya started pressing for a ring.

Two bits of advice, Walter: get new friends and hire round-the-clock security. Kenya’s comin’ for you. Trust.

2. Did Kenya really think people would believe her “marriage” storyline?

She can’t possibly have thought she could keep this ruse going, right? Imagine being on a getaway to Anguilla with your boyfriend and a few other couples. Would he be cool with you proposing a three-way with one of the couples, asking the owner of the house if he had ever donated to a sperm bank, and then doing the full-on “bend over to the front, touch ya toes!” routine up against yet another woman’s husband? ON CAMERA?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

3. Is Kenya abusing drugs and/or alcohol?

Because that is the only possible explanation for this:

kenya fabulous

gone with the wind fabulous

4. How did Phaedra keep herself from punching Kenya “in her face” when she suggested the threesome?

Phaedra side eye

Phaedra’s side eye is unmatched.

Phaedra really is the consummate Southern belle, isn’t she? Brains, booty, all business, and able to resist knocking a bitch out.

5. Did Bravo’s producers know they struck gold when Kenya came along?

I really, really dislike Kenya. I think she is actually “in need of treatment” crazy, not just Housewives crazy. And yet. The amount of space I’ve donated to her alone, makes me think her crazy might be more like a fox.

This week was boring (except for Porsha and Kenya’s meeting of the minds) but next week’s episode looks good. Why? Nene on a horse.

Photo: bravotv.com
Gif: realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

Talk to me.

%d bloggers like this: