My Favorite Moments From the Grammys (That I Totally Did Not Watch)

If I were ever interviewed and asked about the things I consider most important in life, music – what it’s meant to me through out my life – would be in the top three, right up there with family and whatever third thing I would come up with.

But I don’t watch the Grammys. Ever. The Grammys are kind of a ridiculous joke, aren’t they? Rich Juzwiak (here) and Jon Caramanica (here) lay it out better than I ever could.

In general, I don’t watch any awards shows because they are so ridiculously over-the-top. There are only so many things I can hate-watch and awards shows are where I arbitrarily draw the line.

Yup. I draw the line and then I spend an hour the next day piecing together the highlights.

First up, Katy Perry! Pretty sure Ellen’s face looks exactly how mine would look if I got that close to Katy Perry’s amazeballs. I’m pretty sure she’s violating the whole dress code thing but she’s all, “I’m Katy Perry. What’re you gonna do, fine me?”ellen-katy perry

Next up, I have no idea what is going on here. Something about Frank Ocean and Forrest Gump? I’m totally baffled and temporarily distracted. frank-ocean

Highlights, dammit! This is about highlights. Must. Focus.

Oh, Adele! Honey honey honey.

adele-grammys

I’m in two minds about this dress. On the one hand: UGH. On the other hand, as a woman with curves goin’ bam in every direction mahself, I can sympathize with how sick Adele must be of that same slimming black/classic silhouette that they put her in for every public appearance. And I bet that’s exactly what her record company proposed to her and she was probably all, “I’m Adele! What’re you gonna do, force me into another black dress? Bugger off!”

Which brings me to this.adele-chris-brown

Seems Fist Brown didn’t stand for the ovation the audience gave Frank Ocean after he won his Grammy. Yer girl Adele was not havin’ it! Supposedly this is her giving Fist a good telling off. He’s so gross and annoying. But she just gave me another reason why we should be best friends. Call me, girl!

Speaking of gross and annoying, this. rihanna-chris-brownWow. Four years to the day after he beat the daylights out of her, Riri cuddles up to her man, all smiles. I was gonna post the picture of her beat up face, but it’s really disturbing so here’s another shot instead:

pochantas gif

Git it, girl. He’s a real prize and it looks like you won him!

My extensive research tells me that Justin Timberlake* slayed, Jay-Z was beyond over it, Jack White was awesomely strange, Taylor Swift mocked the British accent of the lil chicken nugget who just broke up with her, and there was a tribute to MCA at the end. I love Adam Yauch forever and ever and ever so I’m glad he was recognized with a performance by some fellow legends.

What did I miss?

*I went to see Justin Timberlake in 2007. I bought a tank top that says “Future Sex/Love Sounds Tour.” All I have to do is threaten to wear it in public and my children do my bidding, no questions asked.

17 thoughts on “My Favorite Moments From the Grammys (That I Totally Did Not Watch)

  1. Laura says:

    I only watch awards shows for the performances. I really enjoyed Bruno Mars and the Bob Marley tribute after. For me this year, way too much country. But that’s just me. There was a another tribute to a white guy that I can’t remember who but was pretty good as well.

  2. Veleta Greer says:

    The Bob Marley tribute was great. Oh, and Prince making a presentation made the whole thing worth it. I had to record it b/c I can’t stay up that late, but now I’m stoked to watch the rest since there’s an MCA tribute!!!

    • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

      I had a hard time tracking down the full tribute. If you can’t find it, let me know and I’ll see if I can find it again!

  3. Julia's Math says:

    I only watch (or read) snarky wrap ups. Saves a lot of time! Gotta prioritize.

  4. Jenn says:

    Life kinda got in the way and we didn’t watch it either. Darn 🙂
    Love, love, love the new blog subjects. You KNOW I’m a sucker for celeb gossip. Keep it comin’

    • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

      Oh, yay, Jenny! I’m so happy to hear that. I’m on it like a bonnet. 😉

    • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

      It’s funny. You just made me remember that it was about the time I had kids that I was unwilling to spend the time sifting through all the BS of these shows. Definitely helps set priorities…

      • Jenn says:

        Absolutely! It’s difficult to find the time to watch our regular shows so when it’s wine (wind) down time, we opt for our “Girls” 🙂

        • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

          Which – OMG – I just watched this week’s ep last night. It was so different from usual. I loved it!

        • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

          Except one quick thing: that shorts set was the worst! I never want to see her in something that unflattering ever again. Lena, fix that ish!:0

          • Jenn says:

            We watched last night and OMG!!! Rich and I said the exact same thing. For one, yes, the shorts set was hideous and two, the episode was so different and awkward! Lena don’t be givin’ a fugggg. lol

          • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

            JENN! The girls both just came in the kitchen asking me what I was laughing at! “Lena don’t be givin’ a fugggg.” HAHAHA!

  5. I never watch the Grammys. Much too lowbrow. I prefer the ultra snobfest that is the Oscars, with everybody breaking their own arms trying to pat themselves on the back. And Chris Brown – I know he is a singer, but I couldn’t tell you one of his songs. The only thing he’s famous for in my world is for beating up women.

  6. Heather says:

    You didn’t miss it, but the Grammy folk did. : Imagine Dragons.

    Adele: I want her to be my friend

    The rest of them? Who cares?

Talk to me.

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