How About We…Rant About Dating (With GIFs!)

Since my divorce, my friends have been hassling me to get out there and go on dates. In general, I’m like:tumblr_inline_mnff9qdsKt1qz4rgpI know everyone means well, but the reality is that I’m pretty happy on my own. This is the first time in my adult life I’ve been single and I kind of love it! I really feel good about where I am right now!

tumblr_m6y5xifLJH1qjzveqo1_500I’ve already spent enough time on Match.com to know it’s not for me, at least not for now. But I read about a site called HowAboutWe.com and I was kind of intrigued. The idea is that you post a date that sounds fun to you – mine was the Paella 101 class at Barcelona – and then people can respond if they think they might want to go on that or some other date with you. The idea that I might meet someone fun based more on what we both want to do rather than on strict criteria like “Agnostic over 6 feet tall and under 50 with kids” sounded somewhat appealing to me. Or at least less awful.

So I decided to try it. And here are some of the actual date suggestions. Please to enjoy.

“How about we… go to dinner, movie, a walk in park and take a carrots ride.”

nene wineOhhh, here we go! How about you learn to proofread?

“How about we… Throw burritos at sidewalk joggers while driving.”tumblr_m5f366PIBa1qk8dyk

Ha. Ha. You are very clever, aren’t you?

“How about we… Flatters and Players please keep off for I am not into games Please!!! Be Warned, because I will reports violators to the site authority, So please be very very careful and BE WARNED!!!”

tumblr_mf03h9Hpvf1ql5yr7o1_250
What? I can’t . . . WHAT?!

“How about we… Im not going to show my hand and ruin the surprise… Its all about the excitement of not knowing whats going to happen next….”

scared-oI am pretty sure you are a serial killer and will be using duct tape on my face at some point before the night is through.

“How about we… take a day trip to the beach, scuba/snorkel/ or some activity with a margarita in your hand…seafood dinner on a dock… with some karaoke or after dinner drinks if you can still tolerate me haha.”

megandraper4You know we live in Atlanta, right? You’re familiar with its general geographic location? And by the way, that last part? Too late.

“How about we… just get naked and live for a bit!”tumblr_mj7k2b4aGG1r4mn9fo1_500_zps8da0e506

Come on. Get serious.

“How about we… have a drink until we pass out.”jude-punch

Nope.

“How about we… go to Church!”nyPbqeC

The final straw? Well, I don’t think there’s a GIF for this: one of the dates that came up in the “surprise me” category on the site was A KID I TAUGHT WHEN HE WAS IN FOURTH GRADE! Oh, I was surprised alright. Aaaand that’s the end of that.
There may be a time in the future when Ryan Lochte realizes he needs an older woman I need a man and decide to go beyond my comfort zone. Until then:
sopranosPreach, Tony.

25 thoughts on “How About We…Rant About Dating (With GIFs!)

  1. Pam Houghton says:

    How funny! Loved. p.s. – Doesn’t sound like you are missing much. 🙂

    • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

      Thanks! And I know I’m not being fair to the many, many decent guys with nice, normal date ideas. It’s more fun this way…;)

  2. kitten cupcake dearie jay says:

    hilarious! been there. ugh.

  3. Roxanne Palicka says:

    I don’t find it crazy at all that you would want some time on your own. Enjoy it, don’t force it, and when you are at your happiest, most relaxed state, it’s bound to happen. Cliche, but true.

    • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

      ^ The real advantage of having lifelong friends read your blog, see above.

      I know, Roxie. I feel good about it all but just every once in awhile people make me feel like I’m just scared. Or something. And I have to remind myself that that’s not it.

  4. I was intrigued, so I went to check it out. I found this one: “How About We… Lets fix A PICNIC LUNCH AND GO DEEP IN THE CAMP GROUNFS AND HAVE LOTS OF FUN.”

    Sounds like another serial killer to me!

  5. conniemcleod says:

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I love this. i have several friends i can’t wait to share it with.

  6. Hilarious! As usual your gifs continue to be right on. Happy singlehood to you – enjoy your Me time. 🙂

  7. Jenn says:

    Just awesome!

  8. That was great! Your gifs were perfect. I did a stint of online dating once and it was eye-opening. Never again!

    • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

      Thank you, Chloe! It obviously works for some but for the rest of us, not so much.

  9. AnnMcK says:

    All I can tell you, Lib, is that the next guy who messages me “Hi sexy” I’m gonna go out with just so I can punch him in the throat. You need a strong stomach for this shit.

    • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

      Please do it, Ann! Get video and it’ll go viral. I actually had a message that said, “Hello, dear.” Uh, I think “sexy” would have been less offensive. “Dear”?!

  10. How about we…grow the *&%^ up! What a bunch of weirdos!

    On a good note, let me share that my now 73 year-old mother met her husband on e-harmony 21/2 years ago. They are madly in love. She had been single for 30 years. So miracles do happen!

  11. beverlydiehl says:

    It’s true that if you spread your net wider, you’ll catch more fish – but sometimes that just means more fish to throw back. I love being single and am in no hurry to date, though eventually I think I’d do something Interwebby.

  12. OMG how hysterical. Someone you taught when he was in 4th grade??? You need to document these all in a book.

  13. Emma Covarrubias says:

    hahahahahahahahaha,,, love the Kim one!

    A friend of mine started that match.com thing a long time ago.. she has been on dates to Applebee’s like you wouldn’t believe… the waiter knew who she was. And we found out because our get together’s were in the same location she had all her dates! We told her she needed to either visit every damn location in the city or get guys who were willing to pay more than just buffalo wings and a perfect margarita!

    • reallyrealatlantahousewife says:

      That’s hilarious! Did you watch any of Ryan Lochte’s “reality” show? He took all of his dates to the exact same sushi place until his sisters told him he could NOT do it anymore. So funny.

      • Emma Covarrubias says:

        I never got to watch a single one. But I salivated in every single new episode preview… But that’s hilarious, I would have hated to be “another” one of his dates.. guys truly put no effort nowadays.. and by the way that “hello dear”.. I would have responded “I’m doing great grandpa”

  14. hsf says:

    Laughing as much with your readers’ posts as with your original story.

Talk to me.

%d bloggers like this: