And that’s that.
Received my Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce in the mail today. In the eyes of the Superior Court of Fulton County in the State of Georgia, it is considered “that the marriage contract heretofore entered into between the parties in this case, from and after this date, be, and is set aside and dissolved as fully and effectually as if no such contract had ever been made or entered into.”
So. As of June 10, 2013 our union is legally dissolved as if it never happened. For us, it’s been dissolved for quite awhile. We’ve been living apart for almost exactly two years. In our minds and our kids’ minds, we’ve been divorced since sometime in April of 2012 when we decided to call it quits after a year of separation. Legal stuff has never mattered much to us anyway. We consider our anniversary to be April 4, 1992 since that’s the day we stood before family and friends and entered into a marriage. We found out later that a ship’s captain is only allowed to legally marry people when they are out at sea – whoops! – so we had to go to the courthouse sometime in September (I truly don’t know the date) to make it “official.”
Ours has been a drawn out divorce, but not an acrimonious one. It took so long mainly because it was such a big decision to really and truly pull the plug. Also because we are both exceedingly lazy and with no beach houses or Ferraris to fight over, we took our time. Our lawyers told us that ours was one of the most civil and respectful settlements either of them had ever seen. We didn’t know how to take that. I’m sure they meant it as a compliment, but we’re not trying to get good at divorcing each other so, uh, thanks?
Why am I sharing this? I try hard to keep this blog superficial and fun. I guess I’m sharing it because, well, it’s big. Even after two years, it kinda lays me out that it’s really all over. But no matter what the court says, it DID happen: a contract was entered into and it was entered into in good faith by all parties. I hope the two people who share us as parents always feel assured that they were created from real true love and from the sincerest desire that the marriage would last forever. I know it’s a little melodramatic (so am I) but I guess I want people to bear witness.
I’ve said before that I often follow Hemingway’s directive to “write drunk, edit sober.” Tonight I’m not drunk, but I’m not gonna wait to publish because I might just change my mind. I’m sad, happy, wistful, excited, somber, stunned and hopeful – all at the same time. Tomorrow, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. For tonight, let’s pour out a little Henny for something that happened and is over now. As Mike Skinner (The Streets) says in Empty Cans, “Something that was not meant to be is done / And this is the start of what was.”