Tag Archives: Amy Poehler

11 Things That Will Still Be Okay No Matter What Happens Tuesday

I don’t know about you all, but I have to work hard to not feel scared – terrified, really – about what’s happening in our country. So as not to be coy, I’ll be clear that I am a huge Obama supporter. I desperately hope that he’s reelected. I believe that he’s playing the long game and is much more likely to take us where we need to be than his opponent is. And that’s all I’ll say about that. Respect all viewpoints, agree to disagree, ad infinitum.

The sad reality is that the man who gets elected President on Tuesday will begin his administration with only half the country’s support. HALF. For whatever reason, neither Obama nor Romney has convinced a clear majority of us that he’s the man for the job. I’m fearful that the party that doesn’t prevail will continue the partisan antics that have stopped the country dead in its tracks, making sure to block any good the other party tries to do. In the wake of Sandy, the “shutup and get shit done” philosophy of officials like Gov. Chris Christie and Newark Mayor Corey Booker is encouraging. Gee, maybe all it’s gonna take to focus all of us on our shared American-ness is a series of crushing disasters? Uggggh.

However! What happens Tuesday will not affect the awesomeness of any of the things I’ve listed below. Take comfort in that, friends. Take comfort.

1. Five Guys burgers will still be extremely delicious.

2. George Clooney’s face: unlikely to undergo a hideous transformation overnight.

3. Gifs will still exist. Thank ya, Jesus!

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When Celebrity Divorces Attack

Why does it matter to us when two famous people we don’t even know get a divorce?

Short answer: it doesn’t.

But it’s more complicated than that. When it was announced recently that Amy Poehler and Will Arnett were divorcing, I took it about as hard as I’ve taken good friends’ divorces. For a few days, I was actually shocked how often I thought about what went wrong, why they couldn’t work it out, if there was a bad guy, etc. And then last night I heard Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman are getting divorced. Whaaat?! They married in 1982 but had been together since 1971. These people were together for 41 years! They have three grown children!

As a friend said on Facebook, “What on earth could necessitate a divorce after all those years?” Exactly! And who will think of the children? And by the children, I mean US!

In both of these cases – which I know next to nothing about – I actually felt sad. But why?

I think there are a couple of things at play here. For one thing, divorce is always just kind of a bummer. Mine isn’t even final yet – mostly because we are friendly with each other and basically too lazy to make the final push, despite living apart for more than a year. But I’m still grieving it. And so are the people who love me and my family. Even in the best of circumstances like ours, it’s just plain sad. And you know why? Because of weddings.

Goddam weddings! The reason I love them so much – and will cry at a stranger’s nuptials – is that the occasion is so nakedly hopeful. It’s crazy! Lovely and sweet and profound and crazy. Think about it: the deck is stacked against a long marriage. Our life expectancy is double what it was a hundred years ago. Women have financial independence in ways history has never seen before. There’s really no compelling reason to become entangled like that.

And yet we still do it. And it’s heartbreakingly beautiful to see two people beginning a life with shared hopes and dreams for a future together. Every time I witness it, I am full of optimism. Which is why it hurts so much when it ends. It’s not the end of the legal marriage, per se. It’s the death of a very profound hope that is so crushing.

So, there’s that.

Then there’s the star factor. Some people become stars because they are awful and soulless and will crush anyone and anything to get to the top. And other people become stars because they’re awesome. What they do is so rare, or so funny, or just so damn likable that we not only feel we know them, but we like them, too. Both of the couples I mentioned above meet this criteria. Poehler and Arnett are both hilarious and have contributed things to the world that make it better. And Perlman and Devito were not only part of one of the most beloved TV shows of all-time, but they’ve gone on to have cool second (third?) acts both in and out of the spotlight.

(I’ll forgive Twins. Sometimes a check is a check. They had to put 3 kids through college!)  

You know, if we really do like these people so much, we really shouldn’t mourn their uncoupling. They made a choice. They decided they’d be happier apart. We should probably just respect that and keep movin’, right? After all, we don’t even know them.

But if hear so much as a PEEP about Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, or Iman and David Bowie, I’m jumping off a bridge. You’ve been warned, celebs!

Linked Out Love :: September 14, 2012

Earlier this week, there were reports that Kris Jenner (horrible Kardashian mom) criticized June Thompson (Honey Boo Boo’s mom) for exploiting her kids for money. Predictable “pot, meet kettle” headlines everywhere. But now Kris says she did no such thing. Ooh, Kris Jenner, I see what you did there. Throwin’ shade like a BAWSE. (E Online)

This headline implies that wine in a box somehow isn’t classy enough on its own. I don’t get it. What’s wrong with just carrying it with you? (The Frisky)

This kid makes me wish I could travel back in time so I could grab my 15 year old self by the shoulders and repeatedly shout, “What the F*CK are you DOING??! Get off the phone, quit painting your nails and go LEARN something! JEE-zus.” (Cheezburger)

As a show of love to my readers, I would like to share some resources on the 5 Stages of Amy Poehler/Will Arnett Breakup Grief. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. (The Frisky)

Can you imagine discussing group health insurance with your Bunny Mother? What about demerits for carelessness with hair, nails, shoes, makeup or costume? No? Well, you can learn about it all right here in the 1968 Playboy Club Bunny Manual. (Retronaut)

Hey there, fellow moms! I know we don’t agree on everything in this crazy, mixed-up world but I think we can all agree that potty-training your kids in the middle of a restau – HOLY MARY! What is WRONG with people??!  (Huff Po)

Here’s me watching that video:


gif: myfriendsaremarried.tumblr.com