Tag Archives: bad idea

So a Naked Randy Travis Walks Into a Convenience Store…

“I’m bummed.”

I’m gonna be honest with you: I have more questions than answers about the Randy Travis DWI arrest Tuesday night. In researching this post (i.e., combing the Internet for a few minutes) I learned that Randy Travis, ne Traywick, is a more complicated fellow than he appears at first glance.

Things We Know:

  1. A motorist called 911 to report that he just “found a guy lying in the road.” He didn’t want to leave his car (smart!) and apparently said, “I want to say maybe he has no shirt on.” Turns out he was only half right.
  2. The man in the road was Naked Randy Travis, a country music superstar with 17 #1 hits, and he was arrested for his second alcohol-related offense this year. In addition to refusing the field sobriety test, he threatened to “shoot and kill” the arresting officers. Way to dispel stereotypes, buddy.
  3. Naked Randy Travis was issued “paper clothing” upon arrival at the jail house. Which means that jails have to have a supply of disposable clothing on hand at all times because of all the people who are naked when they’re arrested!
  4. Earlier in the evening, Naked Randy Travis walked into a convenience store to purchase cigarettes. He became belligerent when the clerk asked how he was going to pay. (High five to that dude.) For a convenience store clerk, I bet the only thing better than a drunk, naked guy is a drunk, naked, belligerent guy trying to buy cigarettes.
  5. Travis was in a single car accident in his – wait for it – 1998 Trans Am. Unknown at this time whether the Trans Am featured the iconic “Screaming Chicken” on its hood. Continue reading

Young Lady, Pull Yourself Together: An Open Letter to Sonja Morgan

Sonja, sit down. We need to talk about some things that are gonna be hard for you to hear.

When last night’s episode opened on the meeting in your apartment, you were already making me tense. Say what you will about Heather, but she’s a hugely successful business woman and she’s offered you her help, along with help from James Benard (who probably lies awake wondering why he ever agreed to do this). And you bring Ramona to sit in and bark out her critiques in between taking phone calls? Honey, why? What were you thinking?

Now this is where it gets hard. *deep breath* Continue reading

Money Can’t Buy You Class, Indeed

It’s hard to remember that this is NOT a parody. This is Real Housewife of New York City Countess Luann’s official music video.

How is it possible that it actually seems more comical now than it did then?! When the Countess was making the song, I think I was so focused on the fact that she was even doing a song that I don’t think I fully realized how hilarious it is! Remember the music producer? The one who kept his sunglasses on at all times?

source: chris young tumblr

 

Of course you do.

What you might not remember is how awful the song is! And much like when people tell you they are funny, or laidback, or “a lot of fun”, when people tell you they are classy, they are most assuredly not.

This video makes that point better than I ever could.