Tag Archives: Beyonce

You Guys, I’m Pretty Sure Angelina Jolie Didn’t Cut Off Her Boobs for Money or Publicity

I’m loosely affiliated with a group of mid-life bloggers called Generation Fabulous. By “loosely affiliated” I mean that I was invited to join the group after a friend of a friend who is one of the group’s founders read my post about Match.com. I was and am thrilled to be a part of the group. I don’t post with them very often, primarily because I still think I’m in my late 30s (which I definitely am not) rather than in mid-life. This is my own issue, not proud of it, blah blah blah. Also, I mostly write about superficial stuff and my posts about being annoyed by Beyonce and Gwyneth’s friendship don’t look too good next to pieces about caring for our aging parents.

Even though I don’t post much, I love what the Gen Fabbers are doing and I think it’s cool that marketers are starting to pay attention to this very influential demographic. Until recently it seemed like they were only interested in mommy bloggers. I like to keep up with what’s happening and there is some really great writing happening in the group.

One of the ways I keep up is via a group Facebook page. This morning, someone posted a link to a site which claims to have “proof” that Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy was “part of a clever corporate scheme to protect billions in BRCA gene patents and influence Supreme Court decision.”

Say what?

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All GIF Friday!

Is there a way to NOT love this song?

I’M GONNA POP SOME TAGS!

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Aw, little self-absorbed Hannah Horvath finally figured out that she’s tired of trying to experience everything and be cool all the time. It’s called your 20s, kid, and we all grow out of it.

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Sexxxy moves from living cartoon Courtney Stodden.

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If he was your boyfriend, he’d never let you go.

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Here’s Mariah, reminding us how the dismissive smile is really done.

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In case you forgot to loathe Chris Brown today.

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This is how I’m gonna say Justin’s name from now on. Every time.

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 Mariah gif

Let’s Go Through Star’s Best & Worst Lovers Issue Together, Shall We?

Here’s a confession that will surprise exactly no one: I used to buy all the gossip rags before the Internet came along. I started reading Star in about 1986, right around the time Cher was dating the Bagel Boy. I haven’t bought an issue in years, but today I succumbed.

How did they hook me? Take a look at the cover.

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Nope. Not surprised.

My feelings on Angelina Jolie are well-documented. The idea that I could gather some intel on her being “boring in bed” was worth $3.99. (Actually, no it wasn’t. When did these mags get so expensive?)

Anyway, do you remember years ago Billy Bob Thornton gave an interview in Esquire in which he said, “Sometimes with the model, the actress, ‘the sexiest person in the world’, it may be literally like f***ing the couch.” Ouch. He had to have been talking about Ang, right? This is interesting to me because I’ve always heard BBT is notably, um, large. Supposedly, he’s one of those weird random dudes who’s packing a giant tool. I hate to stick up for Ang, but maybe BBT doesn’t work that hard? I mean, I’ve heard that sometimes men who are “blessed” in the way Slingblade is are not as attentive in bed. Just a thought.

Moving on.

IMG_1211Seems Colin Farrell is a “stud sans stamina.” I don’t believe that. I saw some of the sex tape he made several years ago and his enthusiasm alone was kind of a turn-on. I think his ex is just mad. That’s what I’m gonna choose to believe anyway.

IMG_1210Channing Tatum heats things up with erotic dance moves? No, he does not. Because “erotic dance moves” are never erotic.

IMG_1212Supposedly Beyonce loves tying Jay-Z up. No. Continue reading

An Open Letter to Kim and Kanye’s Baby

Hello Baby Kardashian-West!

You are a baby! A new human life! Like any baby, I wish the best for you. Happiness, good health, prosperity and lots of laughs.

I’m not sure how familiar you are with your parents yet, but I’m gonna do you a favor and fill you in on a couple things.

Sigh. This won’t be easy but I want you to know it’s for your own good, ok?

See, your dad is Kanye West. I’ll tell you right now that I am a superfan. Your dad’s album “The College Dropout” was a game-changer, and joined a short list of albums – including “Kid A” (Radiohead), “Exile In Guyville” (Liz Phair), “Back to Black” (Amy Winehouse) – that I played the actual HELL out of. Your pop is super, super talented. So, that’s great, right?kanye-kilt

Uh, yeah. The problem is that he’s also kind of a huge jackass. A lot of people really don’t like him. Like, really don’t like him. As he says in his tune “Diamonds”:

The international ASSHOLE
Who complain about what he’s owed
And throw a tantrum like he’s 3 years old

His hubris is legendary. Mr. West is probably better known by the public for his awards shows freak-outs, grandiose statements, grouchy interviews and “the mic grab heard ’round the world” than he is for his awesome musical talents. He has built up a pretty breathtaking amount of ill will from the public.

You probably just need to know that, ok?

And kid, we also have to talk about your mom. And her family. I know this hurts, but let’s just do it.

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Unanswered Questions from This Week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta

Normally, I can think of at least five things I need to know more about after every episode. But this week was such a SNOOZER! I’m gonna need the ATL crew to step it up! With Kim gone and everyone acting pretty normal and happy, the storylines are getting boring. And no, Cynthia’s attempts to be sassy and Kenya’s need for mental health services are not helping.

But! I did manage to come up with a few.

1.  Has anyone anywhere ever mistaken Kenya for Beyonce?

I’m giving Kenya’s story a big Phaedra-style side-eye. I know people are easily fooled – and Kenya does have a top-quality weave – but Beyonce? Really?!

Oh, realllly?

Oh, realllly?

I could watch Porsha’s reaction all day.

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For No Good Reason, the Gwyneth-Beyonce Friendship Bugs Me

I mean, look at these two.

The first time I saw them together in public was Beyonce’s birthday in London in 2009. I was sure it some flukey thing between Chris Martin and Jay-Z. I imagined Beyonce gritting her teeth through a smile and hissing quietly at Jay, “I said TWO hours, ok?! Let’s GO! I can’t stand this brat.”

 

But boy, was I wrong! They’re constantly hanging out together. Everywhere! How can Beyonce stand her? (Then again, how can Chris Martin stand her? That’s a whole other can of organic artisanal worms.)  Continue reading

Linked Out Love :: September 21, 2012

It didn’t make a big splash, but Fiona Apple was arrested for drug possession this week when her tour bus was pulled over and hash was found on board. Innocent until proven guilty and all that, but the mugshot is all the evidence I need that homegirl is BAKED. (Popbytes)

In other drug-related news, a drunk and high 51-year-old lady “pirate” commandeers a passenger ferry yelling, “I’m Jack Sparrow!” as she attempts to elude authorities. Is this hilarious or terrifying? (Gawker)

The people in this gif are Jack White, Amy Winehouse, Jay-Z and Beyonce. I have no idea why they are all together, where this took place, no idea when it was filmed, and I care not one tiny bit. Because this is proof that at some moment in time, 4 people I completely geek out over were in the same room. (Beyoncegifs.tumblr.com)

Let’s leave politics out of this and just agree that Mittens got a comically bad spray tan. (ColorLines)

Ok, just one more about politics: the MC Hammer/Obama mash-up “U Didn’t Build That.” Delightful for lovers and haters alike. (Buzzfeed)

And finally, I’ll use the same headline for this that my friend Tom did: FLORIDA!!!  (Jalopnik and Thomas Ronca)

Have a great weekend!