Hello Baby Kardashian-West!
You are a baby! A new human life! Like any baby, I wish the best for you. Happiness, good health, prosperity and lots of laughs.
I’m not sure how familiar you are with your parents yet, but I’m gonna do you a favor and fill you in on a couple things.
Sigh. This won’t be easy but I want you to know it’s for your own good, ok?
See, your dad is Kanye West. I’ll tell you right now that I am a superfan. Your dad’s album “The College Dropout” was a game-changer, and joined a short list of albums – including “Kid A” (Radiohead), “Exile In Guyville” (Liz Phair), “Back to Black” (Amy Winehouse) – that I played the actual HELL out of. Your pop is super, super talented. So, that’s great, right?
Uh, yeah. The problem is that he’s also kind of a huge jackass. A lot of people really don’t like him. Like, really don’t like him. As he says in his tune “Diamonds”:
The international ASSHOLE
Who complain about what he’s owed
And throw a tantrum like he’s 3 years old
His hubris is legendary. Mr. West is probably better known by the public for his awards shows freak-outs, grandiose statements, grouchy interviews and “the mic grab heard ’round the world” than he is for his awesome musical talents. He has built up a pretty breathtaking amount of ill will from the public.
You probably just need to know that, ok?
And kid, we also have to talk about your mom. And her family. I know this hurts, but let’s just do it.