Tag Archives: crazy people

“Tan Mom” Made a Music Video Because The World Can Always Get Weirder

imagesRemember the “Tan Mom”? Of course you do. She was accused of putting her 5-year-old daughter in (on?) a New Jersey tanning bed. She was a meme for a hot second, both defending herself and wildly screaming at reporters and photographers that they were “all fat losers!”

If you thought she just went back to transforming herself into a human strip of Turkey Jerky, you are incorrect. She’s back and she’s”the cool one.”

Warning: you will require some sort of eye-wash station following the viewing of this video, so start getting that ready now. Or better yet, some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind type thing that erases your memory. Because what you are about to watch cannot be unseen.

A short list of things you’ll see in this “music” video:

  • doughy young gay men writhing around with and on Tan Mom
  • the inexplicable presence of a young woman with a blonde wig who “dances” with the soft gay men
  • production values that make the average 3rd grader’s PowerPoint on rocks and minerals look like Scorcese
  • Tan Mom in a Party City wig declaring she is “hotter than the Octomom” while having her boobs groped
  • choreography that took under 6 minutes to learn
  • what a $35 wardrobe budget looks like
  • rhyming of “drop my top” with “Mazel TOFF” (yes: toff)
  • at 2:01, a complete “I quit this bitch” to even pretending to lipsync
  • a podium featuring the presidential seal of the United States
  • a woman in the late stages of severe alcohol and possibly drug abuse who, in a better world, would use the profits from this video to pay for a stay in rehab. (Oh. Wait. There won’t be profits.) 🙁 *sad face forever*

 

Sometimes the world seems like a terrifying hellscape.

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mugshot: The Smoking Gun
gif: tumblr

So This Is What Courtney Love’s Been Up To

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Hey there, Crazy.

When I go too long without some C. Love in my life, things get boring.

cobain-biopic

Kurt’s just clownin’. He’s not really afraid of her.

Full disclosure: I’m a big, big fan. I think Court is bonkers, crackers, bananas, a wack job, cuckoo, a few sandwiches short of a picnic, insane in the membrane, etc. – and I LOVE HER FOR IT! It’s rare to see someone who cares so little about making herself seem normal and acceptable. And in addition to all those things, she is also smart, witty, and the woman behind one of my favorite albums of all time, Hole’s Live Through This. (Don’t kid yourself: it sounds as fresh today as it did then.) And she was married to my boyfriend Kurt Cobain, whom she did not kill, despite whatever misinformation you may have gotten.

This advertisement “web series” for NJOY electronic cigarettes is officially bringin’ Courtney back – yeah! Them other Courtneys don’t know how to act! (Sorry, got carried away.) The actress who is not Courtney Love is notably terrible, which makes it that much more wonderful when Courtney croaks out, “Relax.” Ah, where have you been, girl?

Yeah, she’s “back” selling e-cigarettes, but a check is a check. Git money, gurrrl!