Tag Archives: gifs

How About We…Rant About Dating (With GIFs!)

Since my divorce, my friends have been hassling me to get out there and go on dates. In general, I’m like:tumblr_inline_mnff9qdsKt1qz4rgpI know everyone means well, but the reality is that I’m pretty happy on my own. This is the first time in my adult life I’ve been single and I kind of love it! I really feel good about where I am right now!

tumblr_m6y5xifLJH1qjzveqo1_500I’ve already spent enough time on Match.com to know it’s not for me, at least not for now. But I read about a site called HowAboutWe.com and I was kind of intrigued. The idea is that you post a date that sounds fun to you – mine was the Paella 101 class at Barcelona – and then people can respond if they think they might want to go on that or some other date with you. The idea that I might meet someone fun based more on what we both want to do rather than on strict criteria like “Agnostic over 6 feet tall and under 50 with kids” sounded somewhat appealing to me. Or at least less awful.

So I decided to try it. And here are some of the actual date suggestions. Please to enjoy.

“How about we… go to dinner, movie, a walk in park and take a carrots ride.”

nene wineOhhh, here we go! How about you learn to proofread?

“How about we… Throw burritos at sidewalk joggers while driving.”tumblr_m5f366PIBa1qk8dyk

Ha. Ha. You are very clever, aren’t you?

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The Longest “Girls” Recap You’ll Ever Read

Oh my God. What the hell happened last night? By the time the episode ended with another Q-tip jammed in Hannah’s ear, I had folded myself into a fetal position. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen three people so spectacularly self-destruct over the course of 30 minutes.

Lena Dunham took a ton of shit last season for the show. Part of that was simple “how dare you be a hilarious, smart, successful average-looking young woman and be this funny?” But it was also because the characters she created were so spoiled and seemingly devoid of self-awareness. That’s why I was only a sporadic, On Demand watcher last season. It’s also why I don’t typically hang out with people in their 20s. The lack of self awareness is draining. This season, I feel like LD is working to show people that she gets it; she gets that these people are over indulged, self-centered brats. And she really made her point last night.

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You and me both, girl.

Hannah ::

The episode started with Hannah meeting with her e-book publisher who matter-of-factly tells her he didn’t read the pages she sent him because he didn’t want to. Wow. Okay. Um. So he suggests that she fictionalize her sex life, before sending her on her way with the parting comment that he looks forward to not reading those pages either. (Hannah, blogging is ten times easier and probably as lucrative as the stupid e-book. Do it! )

Later, Hannah is on the floor, presumably working on her book. After she gets a splinter in her butt, she removes it. Of course. Because what would an episode of Girls look like without bare Hannah flesh? Looks like we’ll never have to find out!tumblr_inline_mgxo6xxYrr1rqli3pAnyway, she finds herself driven to clean her ears. (Don’t even act like you haven’t had that same compulsion. Usually it happens to me in other people’s bathrooms but let’s move on.) She proceeds to injure herself by putting something “smaller than an elbow in there” against her irritated mother’s screechy advice.

She ends up in the hospital, being scolded by an older Indian doctor. This is just the sort of man whose hard work and presumably much less privileged circumstances leave him with zero patience for whippersnappers who hurt themselves in stupid ways.

I like that Hannah didn’t talk much in this episode. She sure got her comeuppance and then some, huh? Dismissed by her publisher, annoying to  her parents, berated by a doctor and blown off during a chance meeting with Adam. She’s not doing well right now and maybe, possibly, life is taking the wind out of her usually inflated sails?

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All GIF Friday!

Is there a way to NOT love this song?

I’M GONNA POP SOME TAGS!

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Aw, little self-absorbed Hannah Horvath finally figured out that she’s tired of trying to experience everything and be cool all the time. It’s called your 20s, kid, and we all grow out of it.

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Sexxxy moves from living cartoon Courtney Stodden.

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If he was your boyfriend, he’d never let you go.

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Here’s Mariah, reminding us how the dismissive smile is really done.

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In case you forgot to loathe Chris Brown today.

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This is how I’m gonna say Justin’s name from now on. Every time.

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 Mariah gif

Want the Answer to “How Do I Look?” Ask Your Kids

The setting: a lazy summer afternoon on the beach with my then-boyfriend. Kicking back together and watching people in the truly carefree way that only college students can. We were playing one of those ill-advised “who do you think is hot” games. When Boyfriend pointed out a certain beach stroller as his pick, I quickly said, “Really? Did you see how fat her knees were?”

Her knees. Yes. I said that. I wish I could say I quickly caught myself but I didn’t. In fact, it wasn’t until years later that I had the epiphany – the one we all eventually have – that women are primarily concerned with how they look to other women.

Your dude, when you ask how you look.

Men are so oblivious to the details we obsess over! We see ungroomed eyebrows, chipped nail polish, dated colors, and dark roots. They see boobs. We see dorky hat, way-too-cutesy print, and cankles. They see booty. Or a nice smile. Or a sweet disposition. You get the idea. (More after the jump)

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