Tag Archives: “Girls”

The Longest “Girls” Recap You’ll Ever Read

Oh my God. What the hell happened last night? By the time the episode ended with another Q-tip jammed in Hannah’s ear, I had folded myself into a fetal position. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen three people so spectacularly self-destruct over the course of 30 minutes.

Lena Dunham took a ton of shit last season for the show. Part of that was simple “how dare you be a hilarious, smart, successful average-looking young woman and be this funny?” But it was also because the characters she created were so spoiled and seemingly devoid of self-awareness. That’s why I was only a sporadic, On Demand watcher last season. It’s also why I don’t typically hang out with people in their 20s. The lack of self awareness is draining. This season, I feel like LD is working to show people that she gets it; she gets that these people are over indulged, self-centered brats. And she really made her point last night.


You and me both, girl.

Hannah ::

The episode started with Hannah meeting with her e-book publisher who matter-of-factly tells her he didn’t read the pages she sent him because he didn’t want to. Wow. Okay. Um. So he suggests that she fictionalize her sex life, before sending her on her way with the parting comment that he looks forward to not reading those pages either. (Hannah, blogging is ten times easier and probably as lucrative as the stupid e-book. Do it! )

Later, Hannah is on the floor, presumably working on her book. After she gets a splinter in her butt, she removes it. Of course. Because what would an episode of Girls look like without bare Hannah flesh? Looks like we’ll never have to find out!tumblr_inline_mgxo6xxYrr1rqli3pAnyway, she finds herself driven to clean her ears. (Don’t even act like you haven’t had that same compulsion. Usually it happens to me in other people’s bathrooms but let’s move on.) She proceeds to injure herself by putting something “smaller than an elbow in there” against her irritated mother’s screechy advice.

She ends up in the hospital, being scolded by an older Indian doctor. This is just the sort of man whose hard work and presumably much less privileged circumstances leave him with zero patience for whippersnappers who hurt themselves in stupid ways.

I like that Hannah didn’t talk much in this episode. She sure got her comeuppance and then some, huh? Dismissed by her publisher, annoying to  her parents, berated by a doctor and blown off during a chance meeting with Adam. She’s not doing well right now and maybe, possibly, life is taking the wind out of her usually inflated sails?

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Fat Bottomed “Girls”

Do you watch the HBO series Girls? I’m obsessed; have been since the first episode. I don’t write about it here, mostly because writing about it violates my stated mission to go deep into the shallow. You guys, I’m saying it’s DEEP. I think Lena Dunham is not just a buzzy wunderkind, but someone who will continue to successfully shake up conventionally accepted ideas about comedy and the Great American Gender Debate. The kid’s a gamechanger, I tell ya! A gamechanger! (I don’t know why my inner voice just changed into a 1930s gangster.)

So, I’m writing about this week’s episode mostly because there were some real-life Twitter antics that I thought would be fun to share.

If you didn’t see it, Lena Dunham’s character Hannah had an intensely charged – sexually and otherwise – encounter with an older, successful, incredibly handsome divorced doctor in his dreamy apartment. It started when Hannah came to his home to confess to throwing away trash in his cans. Before turning to leave, she impulsively kissed him. The surprising kiss led to raw, intense sex; a topless ping pong game; sleeping together on high thread count sheets; then more sex before Hannah completely freaked the F out. The whole thing ended as quickly as it began.

To put it mildly, there is a great disparity in looks between Lena Dunham and Patrick Wilson, the actor who played the doctor. And although every one of us has watched sex scenes with no trouble suspending disbelief when the man was considerably less attractive than the woman, it’s a bigger dare for an actress to make us accept that a homely girl could do hot sex to someone that much more attractive than she is.

But Lena Dunham is nothing if not a provocateur. Her Hannah can be a real asshole. Larry David is the only other person I can think of on television who is as willing to be such a complete, unrepentant jerk yet still remain interesting and oddly sympathetic to viewers. I give Dunham a couple extra points, though. We accept men as jerks, no questions asked. (Sorry: truth bomb.) And conventionally hot women can be “bitches” without losing viewers. But it’s a pretty bold act to be a complicated, smart, funny, jerk AND look more like a normal woman than a beautiful actress. And to be a rude, demanding jerk who gets it on with a total stud? That’s bold.

Monday morning, the Internet almost broke from all the chatter about how unbelievable it was that someone like HIM would have not just sex, but amazing sex, with HER. This kind of commentary was from not just random gross Internet commenters (the lowest form of life) but actual respected critics as well.

On TV, yes, it actually is kind of a challenge to accept this very plain girl winning the attention and the naughty bits of such a hot dude. But in real life? It happens. Kind of a lot. As someone much closer to the Lena Dunham end of the spectrum than the Megan Fox side, I don’t find it the least bit hard to believe. As Maureen Ryan put it, referring to people who can’t conceive of this reality, “I can’t escape the feeling that these people never went to any truly awesome parties in their twenties.” And this is why I love Lena Dunham. She’s obviously been to awesome parties.



The real shocker here is not that Hot Guy did sex sex stuff with Plain Girl. The shocker is that she made it happen WEARING THAT SHORTS SET! For the love of God, scrub it from my eyes! The only possible way it could have been less flattering is if she wore it with Crocs.

I swear I almost started a “Hannah’s Shorts Set” Twitter account Monday. I was just gonna tweet “I’M SORRY” over and over and over, all day long.

Enough thinking! Here’s the fun part.

As Twitter was exploding Monday with vitriol about how fug Lena Dunham is and how “in real life, he would never do  a fat chick like her,” Patrick Wilson’s wife tweeted this:

OH, SNAP! Internet, you just got OWNED.

Dagmara, it turns out, is not only an actress, but also an author, a mother and a gorgeous woman who wears a size 10. Is her language too subtle? What she’s saying is:

“Suck it, haters! I’ll be bangin’ the hell out of my hot husband while you sit in front of your computer frothing about fat chicks.”

Here’s what Dagmara looks like. Dagmara+Dominczyk+Young+Adult+World+Premiere+YvrMlUerqOjl

Smart, funny AND gorgeous? I think I’m in love.

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends!

Oh, and this will be me later this evening, halfway through a bottle of wine, blasting “Dancin’ On My Own.”tumblr_inline_mhgu6btpxz1qz4rgp

UPDATE: This happened.Screen Shot 2013-02-14 at 8.58.30 PM