Tag Archives: Kanye

Let’s Go Through Star’s Best & Worst Lovers Issue Together, Shall We?

Here’s a confession that will surprise exactly no one: I used to buy all the gossip rags before the Internet came along. I started reading Star in about 1986, right around the time Cher was dating the Bagel Boy. I haven’t bought an issue in years, but today I succumbed.

How did they hook me? Take a look at the cover.

star-cover

Nope. Not surprised.

My feelings on Angelina Jolie are well-documented. The idea that I could gather some intel on her being “boring in bed” was worth $3.99. (Actually, no it wasn’t. When did these mags get so expensive?)

Anyway, do you remember years ago Billy Bob Thornton gave an interview in Esquire in which he said, “Sometimes with the model, the actress, ‘the sexiest person in the world’, it may be literally like f***ing the couch.” Ouch. He had to have been talking about Ang, right? This is interesting to me because I’ve always heard BBT is notably, um, large. Supposedly, he’s one of those weird random dudes who’s packing a giant tool. I hate to stick up for Ang, but maybe BBT doesn’t work that hard? I mean, I’ve heard that sometimes men who are “blessed” in the way Slingblade is are not as attentive in bed. Just a thought.

Moving on.

IMG_1211Seems Colin Farrell is a “stud sans stamina.” I don’t believe that. I saw some of the sex tape he made several years ago and his enthusiasm alone was kind of a turn-on. I think his ex is just mad. That’s what I’m gonna choose to believe anyway.

IMG_1210Channing Tatum heats things up with erotic dance moves? No, he does not. Because “erotic dance moves” are never erotic.

IMG_1212Supposedly Beyonce loves tying Jay-Z up. No. Continue reading

For No Good Reason, the Gwyneth-Beyonce Friendship Bugs Me

I mean, look at these two.

The first time I saw them together in public was Beyonce’s birthday in London in 2009. I was sure it some flukey thing between Chris Martin and Jay-Z. I imagined Beyonce gritting her teeth through a smile and hissing quietly at Jay, “I said TWO hours, ok?! Let’s GO! I can’t stand this brat.”

 

But boy, was I wrong! They’re constantly hanging out together. Everywhere! How can Beyonce stand her? (Then again, how can Chris Martin stand her? That’s a whole other can of organic artisanal worms.)  Continue reading