Tag Archives: Kim Zolciak

Real Housewives of Atlanta: This Week’s 5 Unanswered Questions

So, Phaedra accidentally donkey-booty dialed Nene. Phaedra describes donkey bootyNene heard Phaedra say not nice things about Cynthia, so of course she had to go tattle to Cynthia. Whatever. Cynthia-centered plot lines bore the stuffing outta me and this is no exception. Also, Kim is moving out of the “haunted house” and Porsha made breakfast and Kenya is nuts.

But there are still some questions I’d like answered from last night’s episode.

1. Has Walter really never seen Kenya’s backyard?

That’s not a metaphor. I’m pretty sure that when she invited him over for the microwaved Trader Joe’s homemade dinner, he made some comment about how nice it was back there, indicating he had never seen the back deck. She also made some apologizing noises about the stairs. Is this the first time this poor sucker has been to his girlfriend’s house? Does she actually live there? And is she seriously talking about wanting a baby with this guy? And does she think the basis of a good marriage is perpetrating the lie that you can cook? And doing it badly (strands of pasta in a grill pan)? That was way more than one question but I’m truly flummoxed by Kenya’s crazy ass.

2. Did Porsha just say “fraudulent slip”?

Because I’m pretty she did. Explaining to her husband about accidentally calling Kenya Miss America, she described it as a fraudulent slip. Okay. This means that she not only doesn’t know the word is Freudian, she also misunderstands the whole concept. “Freudian slip” is not exactly an uncommon phrase, right? I mean, I think even eighth graders use it properly. But in the preview for next week, Porsha describes her organization as not about feeding the hungry only on Thanksgiving; they are “active 265 days a year.” So yeah. Continue reading

Kim Zolciak Named Her Son Kash Kade. Yes, Really.

The good news: A hearty “Mazel!” to Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann, who welcomed a new baby boy this morning.

The bad news: They named the kid Kash Kade.

It’s always good to hear that a baby is born healthy and that mom and baby are feeling fine. Because then you can start talking shit.

One of my Twitter pals, @TracySlapaho said it best when she tweeted this morning that the name “sounds like Sean Connery talking about Cascade detergent.” I know you’re doing that accent in your head right now and it’s funny, isn’t it? Nicely done, Tracy.

Recently, I watched “Freakonomics” for a second time. If you haven’t seen it, watch it right now. There’s a segment about names and the lifelong effects they can have on people.  We all know certain names evoke strippers (sorry, Brandi and Misti!), some conjure up old ladies (hi, Gertrude and Dolores!) and some make you picture a total dudebro (‘sup, Chad and Blake?). There’s also a fascinating discussion of how some names originate in the upper classes and are later discarded when they trickle down to the Poors.

I’m getting off track but I do have a point to make here. The process of naming a baby is so lengthy and typically well thought-out that I have to wonder what the hell Kim and Kroy were thinking with Kash Kade? Hasn’t Kim been accused over and over again of being a gold digger? You guys, did she actually name her baby son after what she loves most in life??

With all these ‘K’ names, the Biermanns are like a low-budget Kardashian Klan. I predict name changes for Brielle and Arianna in 3, 2…