Tag Archives: Melissa Gorga

Nene and Me: Reunited and It Feels So ‘Hood

Last week’s recap was all about Kenya and to be honest, I felt kind of dirty afterward. You guys, she is just awful and I regret the attention I’ve given to her antics. As Evelyn Lozada would say, she’s “thirsty.” We need to let her stay that way for awhile. Besides, she’s busy suing bloggers and coming after Walter for telling the truth on her.

Enough! Let’s move on to the person who is becoming my breakout favorite (again) this season: Ms. Nene Leakes! Yes, Nene, who was such a mean old raisin face (™Porsha Stewart) for awhile, is more centered, easygoing, and plain old fun again this season.


Remember THIS Nene?

It may surprise you to learn that Atlanta is the undisputed ratings leader of the Real Housewives franchises. By far far. In that first season, it wasn’t DeShawn (remember her?) or Lisa Wu Hartwell or She by Sheree that drew the viewers. It was the Lucy and Ethel antics of Nene and Kim, right?

But as time went on, the two of them got famous and as famous people do, they got weird and bitchy. They both became a lot less fun. They became unlikeable, really.

Kim stayed that way, as far as I’m concerned. I get that she’s supposed to be so happy with her new man and her new family but she still seems like the most miserable happy person I’ve ever seen.

In Nene’s defense, she went through some pretty rough times. Her loser older son gave her all sorts of problems (did you know she suddenly became grandma last spring?). Her long marriage unraveled quickly and publicly. And she got very rich, bitch! Well, you know what they say: mo’ money, mo’ problems. That kind of rapid life change makes people a little nuts. (And really, how else to explain Nene’s dalliance with that greasy ole creeper, John?)

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New Jersey Reunion Parts 2, 3, Infinity . . .

I usually watch Bravo shows to feel better about life. There’s the schadenfreude (duh!), there’s the pretty clothes and shoes and hair, and there’s the faux Caribbean jazz that is the soundtrack of all Bravo shows. Pretty much always puts me in a good mood.

But the reunion of The Real Housewives of New Jersey made me feel nothing but down. I wish I could get back the three hours I spent watching it. Oof. THREE. HOURS.

Quite frankly, (I’m Aviva now!) the problem is Teresa and Joe Giudice and their outsize role in the storylines of the show. I’m a little afraid Teresa’s army of rabid fans will somehow crash this site if I say it, but I think the Giudices are some of the worst people I’ve ever seen on television. They are delusional, angry, vindictive, rage-y, and full of hate and envy. And my boyfriend Andy Cohen and his producers have allowed their shenanigans to hijack the show.

We keep hearing how close Teresa was to her brother Joe before he got married. She gets teary and agitated whenever she talks about how Joe changed when he met Melissa. From the beginning, I’ve thought Teresa’s attachment to her brother was way beyond just “close”, right on in to “not normal.” Her jealousy of his attention to Melissa is a little bizarre.

The single story this season, up to and including the reunion, was Teresa vs. Everyone Else. And it was just boring. Yes, the contrast between the charming Season One Teresa and the vindictive Season Four witch is pretty bleak. But that doesn’t make it interesting. These shows work when there are relationships of all kinds – some love, some hate, some indifference – and when the alliances shift around. Jersey had none of that this year and it was ultimately lifeless.

I think this picture sums up the season: (after the jump) Continue reading

New Jersey Reunion Part 1: What Just Happened?

I’m still processing everything that went down last night during the Jersey reunion. Yeesh.

Actually, what “went down” was essentially nothing. Nothing was resolved, nothing was mended, nothing was even discussed, really. It was just Teresa vs. everyone else. As Aviva would say, this is getting old, quite frankly.

So, here’s my recap of Reunion Part 1: (read it with an eye roll in your voice)

Kathy’s new face, Teresa’s pageant dress, Teresa hates everyone, Caroline is indignant, everyone hates Teresa, Jacqueline is crying, miracle baby, hott Lauren, “napalm!”, Melissa is over it, “Your mother’s a liar,” muffled shouting.

The source of the shouting? That would be Rosie! Yes, Kathy’s sister. Teresa’s cousin. Sounds like Rosie took issue with Teresa’s unkind statement about Rosie and Kathy’s dad.

Um, I would think that by now Teresa would know: ROSIE DON’T PLAY.

In Part 2, I’m sure everybody will calm down. They’ll take a breath. They’ll engage in loving conversations that bring them back to what’s really important: family.  

Or not.

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6 Loosely-Related Thoughts on This Week’s “Real Housewives of New Jersey”

I’ve got about 65 things I need to be doing right now. What better time to reflect on the trials and triumphs of my pals in New Jersey? Let’s get right to it.

1. Confession: I like Melissa Gorga. A lot. Part of it is that I can’t stand Teresa. I feel like Melissa has tried harder – at least in front of the cameras – to mend things in their family. But there’s also something about Melissa, something I can’t put my finger on, that reminds me so much of my sister-in-law. Whom I adore. For that reason, I can’t be objective about anything MG does! Hating the camping/hiking/canoeing thing was SO my SIL! When she said she’d prefer to stay on the shore and “keep it sexy in [her] bedazzled bikini”, all I could think of was my Jenn. If Teresa had said it, it would have annoyed me. There. I said it. This is TV. Opinions don’t have to make sense.

2. Joe Gorga’s body confidence baffles me! And maybe charms me? A little? He takes every opportunity to show his peen (which I think we know after last night is fully waxed, ew). He’s a 5 foot tall meatball and he loves shucking his clothes!  It’s endearing in a way … except that he’s someone’s dad. It’s cute now, but he will become just as embarrassing as Aviva’s dirty ol’ dad. Trust.

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Ep. 12: Product Pile-Up on the Jersey Turnpike

The New Jersey cast used to be my favorite. Ah, how I loved that first season!

Who can forget Teresa pulling out that huge wad of cash to pay for her gaudy furniture?

She didn’t even have her “bubbies” yet.

Those early days before the Manzos all had lap-band surgery (except Prince Albie and Critterfur, of course), and when Dina and Danielle were cast members were something special. Growing up in central Florida, where the 2 ethnic groups were “black” and “white”, I’ve always been intrigued by the culture of Italian-Americans. And the Season 1 Jersey-ites did NOT disappoint.

But this season? Meh. And I think I figured out why: THEY’RE ALL SELLING SHIT! Continue reading