Tag Archives: Milania Giudice

It’s Time We Talked About the Real HouseHUSBANDS

On Sunday night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rich Wakile, husband of Kathy Wakile, explained in a voiceover that his favorite dessert is Kathy. Why? Because “it tastes like fish, and always gets the job done.” Ugh. Barf. It almost broke Twitter, especially when Rich himself tweeted that he was talking about something else and Bravo edited it. Riiight. Side eye, Rich, side eye.

It got me thinking about how many of the husbands on these shows are either comical, revolting, or both. (Like always, I’m ignoring those tricks in Miami.They offer nothing except Mama Elsa. Snooze.) For the sake of brevity, I’ll only discuss the shows currently airing.

Let’s begin.

Rich Wakile :: The Embarrassment

The comment about tasting like fish was only the most recent of Rich’s antics. From using the phrase “cake blocker” in one of his wife’s business meetings, to asking for a tampon (“My wife just cut my balls awf!”) in another, to the blurred-out boner on the Napa trip, Rich is one gross-out after another. And I won’t even comment on the popped collars.

Joe Gorga :: The Meatball

Teresa’s wee musclebound brother was first introduced to us in the infamous Christening episode. He came off like a scary, drunk roid-rager. Calling his sister “garbage”, throwing punches, and howling in Italian to their father “I’m ya SON!”, he seemed pretty awful. Telling the viewers he needs sex every day to “release the poison” did nothing to increase his likability. But I have to admit that like a rare Jersey fungus, Joey G. has grown on me. I find his unflagging support for Melissa’s “singing career” and his seemingly genuine desire to make things right with his sister and her family to be endearing. Charming, even. I think under the excessive waxing and tanning, there beats a good heart. Continue reading

Put these A**holes in their Place, Milania!

Holy cow! Have you seen the Real Housewives of New Jersey Facebook page today? It’s blowing up with absolutely vile comments about Milania. Jezebel has an impressively well-researched piece about it (damn, they are thorough). Now, if you’ve read this blog at all, you know I think Milania is the HBIC of that show. Although I wouldn’t let my own kids behave like she does, I find her brattiness 100% hilarious for entertainment purposes. My kid climbing into the produce bins at the grocery store? Oh, HELL naw. Teresa’s gravelly-voiced little princess doing it? Reality TV gold.

However. Let’s remember that this kid is 5 years old! She’s 5! Calling her a “bitch” and a “troll” and saying you’d like to “beat the shit out of her” is so far beyond that I just … really, I don’t even have any words. It makes me feel a little sick to be honest.

Housewife Tweet of the Day

Ok, it’s not technically a housewife. And, if we’re splitting hairs, it’s not from today either. But it IS funny.

The real Milania is Head Bitch in Charge at Casa Jew-dice. As far as I know, she isn’t on Twitter. But my current favorite Twitter feed is TheFauxMilaniaG: “Tweeting all the things you know Milania is thinking.”

Shit’s hilarious.

Milania Giudice: The TRUE Star of the Real Housewives of New Jersey

The New Jersey Housewives frustrate us, don’t they? The ladies of Franklin Lakes can be so inconsistent. Teresa says nothing matters more than family, but behaves in ways that completely contradict her statements. Caroline says life is too short for drama, and then shows up (ta-da!)on Jacqueline’s back deck just in time to insert herself into Teresa and Jacqueline’s friend break up.

But there is ONE character from NJ whose actions are always, always consistent with her words. One cast member who stays “in character” at all times, never distracting us with complicated feelings or nuanced emotion.

That character is Milania.

Milania from Real Housewives of New Jersey

“Get the jerk out!”

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