Tag Archives: Pepe le Pew

It’s Time We Talked About the Real HouseHUSBANDS

On Sunday night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rich Wakile, husband of Kathy Wakile, explained in a voiceover that his favorite dessert is Kathy. Why? Because “it tastes like fish, and always gets the job done.” Ugh. Barf. It almost broke Twitter, especially when Rich himself tweeted that he was talking about something else and Bravo edited it. Riiight. Side eye, Rich, side eye.

It got me thinking about how many of the husbands on these shows are either comical, revolting, or both. (Like always, I’m ignoring those tricks in Miami.They offer nothing except Mama Elsa. Snooze.) For the sake of brevity, I’ll only discuss the shows currently airing.

Let’s begin.

Rich Wakile :: The Embarrassment

The comment about tasting like fish was only the most recent of Rich’s antics. From using the phrase “cake blocker” in one of his wife’s business meetings, to asking for a tampon (“My wife just cut my balls awf!”) in another, to the blurred-out boner on the Napa trip, Rich is one gross-out after another. And I won’t even comment on the popped collars.

Joe Gorga :: The Meatball

Teresa’s wee musclebound brother was first introduced to us in the infamous Christening episode. He came off like a scary, drunk roid-rager. Calling his sister “garbage”, throwing punches, and howling in Italian to their father “I’m ya SON!”, he seemed pretty awful. Telling the viewers he needs sex every day to “release the poison” did nothing to increase his likability. But I have to admit that like a rare Jersey fungus, Joey G. has grown on me. I find his unflagging support for Melissa’s “singing career” and his seemingly genuine desire to make things right with his sister and her family to be endearing. Charming, even. I think under the excessive waxing and tanning, there beats a good heart. Continue reading

Bitchin’ & Ramoanin’

Yesterday I met a couple of friends I hadn’t seen in way too long for mid-afternoon cocktails. It felt luxurious, in a very Housewives-y way, to be sipping drinks while other people were still at work. If it hadn’t been 900 degrees and our dresses hadn’t been stuck to us with sweat, you would have thought we were carefree socialities. (Not really, but work with me.)

After we paid our check and got ready to go back to real life, the subject of the ladies of Bravo came up – as it does – and before we knew it, we’d been sitting with empty glasses for 15 minutes deciding what we thought about last week’s episode, and the whole Luann and Zhhhhjahhk (how Jacques pronounces his name) set up of Ramona. You remember, right? Wine expert Pepe Le Pew (OMG Mario made a funny!) and the Countess invited everyone to a wine event at which they played “wine games.” Ugh, whatever. Anyhoo, one of the oh-so-hilarrrious games they played was setting Ramona up to see if she knew her own wine. Continue reading