Tag Archives: redneckonize

Randy Travis Arrested Again, Needs to Redneckonize

C’mon, guys. I really count on you to be there for me when I miss stuff like this.

You betta redneckonize, Randy!

So, less than 2 weeks after his arrest for being naked in the road (next to his 1998 Trans Am!), it seems Randy Travis was cited again a couple of nights ago, when police responded to a call about two men fighting in a church parking lot. He was charged with misdemeanor assault. Although TMZ is reporting that Randy was “extremely intoxicated,” there was no indication on the police report that he was impaired at the time of his most recent arrest.

Um, hang on. I feel pretty certain that if you find yourself in a situation in which you are fighting your girlfriend’s estranged husband in a parking lot at 1 a.m. on a Friday, you have had at least a few drinks. In my experience, non-drinkers are just not very likely to start slugging each other in the wee hours. And further, when this is the second time in a year that you’ve been arrested for being up to no good in a church parking lot after dark, things aren’t working out for you. Add in a clothing-optional DUI and you’ve got a problem.

I need to figure out why this cat’s drinking so much! I know times are tough – recent divorce from your wife/manager of 20 years, marriage ended over cheating with the woman whose husband you tried to knock out, crashing your Trans Am while drunk and naked – but man, this dude needs to consider developing healthier habits!

Is he just determined to make his life play out like a country song? Could be, but he’s got a ways to go before he’s George Jones getting a DUI on his way to the liquor store ON A RIDING MOWER. On the other hand, maybe church parking lot fighting 2 weeks after your naked DUI is getting pretty close.

UPDATE: Thanks to Noel, who directed my attention to this mess.

Photo via Dlisted

What We’re Really Talking About When We Talk About “Honey Boo Boo”

People who know me and also read this blog have asked me a couple times now what I think about TLC’s “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” I haven’t been able to respond because I really wasn’t sure what I thought. I needed to marinate. Also, I hadn’t seen the show until I watched the 3 episodes available online the other day. (I ditched cable. I regret it.)

I became familiar with Honey Boo Boo Child when my friend Andy posted the original “a dolla makes me holla!” video on my Facebook page with a message that said  “that kid you gave up for adoption is on Toddlers and Tiaras now.” Jokes! Of course I watched it about 4 times in a row, and I felt a strange mixture of horrified, charmed, amused, depressed, and worried. When she grabs her belly fat, I just…I can’t. In case you haven’t seen it (or have blocked it from memory), here it is:

People get so worked up over reality TV. And, in a way, I get it. It’s worse than a carnival freak show because unlike the freaks in a hot, sweaty tent, we only watch; we don’t have to make eye contact with them. (Which I accidentally did at a South Florida fairground freak show. I need to write about that.) And yes, I think a big part of reality TV’s appeal is the “at least I’m better than them” factor.

But what really makes me clutch my pearls and do the whole “who will think of the children?!” routine is the thought that Charlie fucking Sheen enjoys the level of fame and riches he does. Until very recently, Charlie Sheen was the highest paid man on television. He was making 1.25 million dollars per episode of that hideously unfunny show he was on. He even managed to make money off of his spectacular meltdown. And he’s on TV again! Barf. That troubles me far more than the kids on Jersey Shore allowing their drunken hookups to be filmed. Continue reading